Do you mind telling us a bit about yourself and what made you decide to participate in this photography project
Hi, my name is Dziko! I am 30 years old and am from MD. I wanted to participate in this photo project because I believe in your vision of sharing your experience with your mental health issues and I find that there's healing in being understood. So I hope that sharing my experiences with mental health can help someone else understand that they are not alone.
Do you have a mental illness besides depression that you suffer from? Do you ever feel like that it became a part of your identity? If so, how? If not, how were you able to separate yourself from your illness?
I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I also have struggled with panic attacks but thankfully I have not had one in a few months. At some points, it has consumed part of my identity in a way. I've let it limit what I can do, if I should be around people, if I'm even allowed to enjoy things. Therapy has helped to redirect these intrusive thoughts and feelings. I still struggle but I feel a little more empowered to fight through these feelings. I feel that as long as I keep trying, it will get easier with time.
Hi, my name is Dziko! I am 30 years old and am from MD. I wanted to participate in this photo project because I believe in your vision of sharing your experience with your mental health issues and I find that there's healing in being understood. So I hope that sharing my experiences with mental health can help someone else understand that they are not alone.
Do you have a mental illness besides depression that you suffer from? Do you ever feel like that it became a part of your identity? If so, how? If not, how were you able to separate yourself from your illness?
I have been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder. I also have struggled with panic attacks but thankfully I have not had one in a few months. At some points, it has consumed part of my identity in a way. I've let it limit what I can do, if I should be around people, if I'm even allowed to enjoy things. Therapy has helped to redirect these intrusive thoughts and feelings. I still struggle but I feel a little more empowered to fight through these feelings. I feel that as long as I keep trying, it will get easier with time.
Do you have family or friends that you are able to confide in regarding your mental health? Who makes you feel safe? How has your mental illness affected your relationships with friends, family, or even work?
My family is my everything. Even when they don't understand how I am feeling, they are encouraging and are that voice of reason when I start to spiral to the point of inaction. I am a private person, so I tend to isolate myself when I am struggling. So one of my goals is to share more of my life, the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. Isolating is a way to cope from being disappointed, but it has also hindered me from getting help, feeling seen, and being loved. My anxiety has definitely impacted the way I navigate relationships, and what I explained above contributes to it at times. Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family that I feel safe with, who can tell me hard truths, and lift me up when I feel like I have nothing left in me, and to enjoy the wonderful things in life. Has my work been impacted because of my mental health issues? Short answer: Yes, and has contributed to it.
Do you feel as if having a mental illness as a Black woman has been somewhat a harder struggle? Have you experienced the stigma of being mentally ill within the Black Community?
Absolutely. There are societal obstacles that are woven into this culture that leave no room for any type of healing for black women. Black women are taught from birth to give, give, give and give some more. That the only way to be moderately successful is to give 150%. To think of ourselves last. I've struggled with these societal pressures and it's going to take quite a bit of unlearning. I've questioned if I was just a weak person because of how fragile I feel at times. It's made me feel like a burden, and to question my place in spaces where I am the only black woman. I now realize that the anxiety I experience doesn't make me a burden, and my sensitivity to more things does not equate to me being weak. Constantly striving for growth and progression is the best way I can empower myself in a society that is not set up for women like me to win. There are ways I can implement modifications to still get my job done, make friends, form successful relationships, and so on.
My family is my everything. Even when they don't understand how I am feeling, they are encouraging and are that voice of reason when I start to spiral to the point of inaction. I am a private person, so I tend to isolate myself when I am struggling. So one of my goals is to share more of my life, the good and the bad, the highs and the lows. Isolating is a way to cope from being disappointed, but it has also hindered me from getting help, feeling seen, and being loved. My anxiety has definitely impacted the way I navigate relationships, and what I explained above contributes to it at times. Thankfully I have wonderful friends and family that I feel safe with, who can tell me hard truths, and lift me up when I feel like I have nothing left in me, and to enjoy the wonderful things in life. Has my work been impacted because of my mental health issues? Short answer: Yes, and has contributed to it.
Do you feel as if having a mental illness as a Black woman has been somewhat a harder struggle? Have you experienced the stigma of being mentally ill within the Black Community?
Absolutely. There are societal obstacles that are woven into this culture that leave no room for any type of healing for black women. Black women are taught from birth to give, give, give and give some more. That the only way to be moderately successful is to give 150%. To think of ourselves last. I've struggled with these societal pressures and it's going to take quite a bit of unlearning. I've questioned if I was just a weak person because of how fragile I feel at times. It's made me feel like a burden, and to question my place in spaces where I am the only black woman. I now realize that the anxiety I experience doesn't make me a burden, and my sensitivity to more things does not equate to me being weak. Constantly striving for growth and progression is the best way I can empower myself in a society that is not set up for women like me to win. There are ways I can implement modifications to still get my job done, make friends, form successful relationships, and so on.
What are some positive things or even ‘vices’ that help you through the tough times of your mental illness? Are there things you used to do that no longer benefit you? Why did these things help you?
Some positive things that get me through tough moments are journaling (any way to get the competing thoughts in my head, out), being outdoors (it's cliche but getting fresh air and some sunlight is a game changer), walks with my dog, and when financially appropriate, getting massages or going to the spa. Some vices that I engage in when I am struggling with anxiety are eating excessively, drinking more often, and spending money recklessly, which are often done when I feel like I need to fill a void. These vices do more harm than actually helping, so when I notice that I'm engaging in these things a little too much, I know that I need to check in with myself and implement healthier strategies to cope.
Do you feel proud of yourself for how far you have come with your mental illness?
That is a very good question. Yes and no. I am proud of myself for taking steps towards taking care of my mental health because I have spent a lot of time not taking any action. But I do wish I was making more progress with my goals. I have to be accountable to myself that the fear I have in trying new things and stepping out on faith is hindering me from being great. However, progression is not linear so the journey isn't going to be exactly how I planned. So I am proud of myself for the progression I do make no matter the pace and am reminded to extend myself grace.
Some positive things that get me through tough moments are journaling (any way to get the competing thoughts in my head, out), being outdoors (it's cliche but getting fresh air and some sunlight is a game changer), walks with my dog, and when financially appropriate, getting massages or going to the spa. Some vices that I engage in when I am struggling with anxiety are eating excessively, drinking more often, and spending money recklessly, which are often done when I feel like I need to fill a void. These vices do more harm than actually helping, so when I notice that I'm engaging in these things a little too much, I know that I need to check in with myself and implement healthier strategies to cope.
Do you feel proud of yourself for how far you have come with your mental illness?
That is a very good question. Yes and no. I am proud of myself for taking steps towards taking care of my mental health because I have spent a lot of time not taking any action. But I do wish I was making more progress with my goals. I have to be accountable to myself that the fear I have in trying new things and stepping out on faith is hindering me from being great. However, progression is not linear so the journey isn't going to be exactly how I planned. So I am proud of myself for the progression I do make no matter the pace and am reminded to extend myself grace.