Do you mind telling us a bit about yourself and what made you decide to participate in this photography project?
My name is Simone Booker-Isham, and I am 32 years old. I grew up in Durham, NC, where I was raised as an only child of a single parent. I moved to DC from NYC almost three years ago for graduate school. My background is in art, and I have been in the creative space my whole life, either creating or working within the field. I am a painter with a Bachelor's in Studio Art and a Master's in Art Management. I currently work at the John F. Kennedy Center in the marketing department as the Assistant Manager for Social Impact and Social Media. My mental health has played such a significant role in my life that deciding to participate in this project was a no-brainer. I have struggled to find balance and peace while actively healing and processing. Once I started to take my healing journey seriously, there was a shift in me. I find solace in speaking my truth.
Do you have a mental illness besides depression that you suffer from? Do you ever feel like that it became a part of your identity? If so, how? If not, how were you able to separate yourself from your illness?
Yes, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. I also have ADHD, which has been a major trigger for me when dealing with my mental health. I feel like my mental health has shaped my identity, which is the thing I struggle with the most in my healing process. I never used to talk about my depression and anxiety. I didn’t have the language or understand how to process my feelings for a long time, which was frankly destructive to my spirit. My anxiety brain told me something was wrong with me and that no one would understand or want to be around a crazy person. I’ve always seen myself as a funny friend, so opening up about something so serious felt impossible. At times, I feel like I don’t know who I am or what my story would be without my anxiety. A part of living in my truth is embracing that my mental health has shaped aspects of my identity, but it’s not the only factor.
My name is Simone Booker-Isham, and I am 32 years old. I grew up in Durham, NC, where I was raised as an only child of a single parent. I moved to DC from NYC almost three years ago for graduate school. My background is in art, and I have been in the creative space my whole life, either creating or working within the field. I am a painter with a Bachelor's in Studio Art and a Master's in Art Management. I currently work at the John F. Kennedy Center in the marketing department as the Assistant Manager for Social Impact and Social Media. My mental health has played such a significant role in my life that deciding to participate in this project was a no-brainer. I have struggled to find balance and peace while actively healing and processing. Once I started to take my healing journey seriously, there was a shift in me. I find solace in speaking my truth.
Do you have a mental illness besides depression that you suffer from? Do you ever feel like that it became a part of your identity? If so, how? If not, how were you able to separate yourself from your illness?
Yes, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder. I also have ADHD, which has been a major trigger for me when dealing with my mental health. I feel like my mental health has shaped my identity, which is the thing I struggle with the most in my healing process. I never used to talk about my depression and anxiety. I didn’t have the language or understand how to process my feelings for a long time, which was frankly destructive to my spirit. My anxiety brain told me something was wrong with me and that no one would understand or want to be around a crazy person. I’ve always seen myself as a funny friend, so opening up about something so serious felt impossible. At times, I feel like I don’t know who I am or what my story would be without my anxiety. A part of living in my truth is embracing that my mental health has shaped aspects of my identity, but it’s not the only factor.
Do you have family or friends that you are able to confide in regarding your mental health? Who makes you feel safe? How has your mental illness affected your relationships with friends, family, or even work?
At this stage of my life, I am very vocal with my family and friends about my anxiety triggers and insecurities. My mental illness has definitely impacted my relationships, especially before I had the language for what I was feeling. My anxiety would often manifest in extremely maniac behaviors, which can be hard for people to understand. I have been very intentional about the company that I keep, so I have created a beautiful tribe around myself. Of this tribe, I feel the safest with my mom and my boyfriend, Christian. They are people I can say have seen me completely and genuinely love me anyway. As the ultimate day one, my mom has been on this journey with me the entire time. She has supported me, even when she didn’t completely understand what I was going through. Over the years she has pushed me to go to therapy, encouraged me to continue healing even when I’m at my lowest and she has taken the time to educate herself on how to better parent me as a person. I am forever grateful for her unconditional love and commitment to ending certain generational traumas. Christian is so unbelievably unbothered, he completely balanced out my constantly bothered spirit. He gives me space to feel without letting me slip too far. I feel like I can be all of myself with him. told him about my mental health issues from the beginning of our relationship and we continue to have open dialogue. I am grateful for his patience and willingness to learn.
Do you feel as if having a mental illness as a Black woman has been somewhat a harder struggle? Have you experienced the stigma of being mentally ill within the Black Community?
Overall as a society, I don’t feel like there’s the same stigma on mental health issues that there used to be. Unfortunately, that change in mindset came after the “damage was done” for many of us. I’ve had to do so much unlearning and work to break generational cycles, and it’s exhausting. On the other hand, since the topic is no longer so taboo, it is encouraging to see so many people also going through the struggles of healing. The healing journey can feel so isolating, so having those connections are so impactful. Especially as black women, we struggle to look strong all the time. Seeing black women being so vulnerable lately has been a game changer for me. I feel like I can turn to my friends and peers to say I don’t always aspire to be a strong black woman, and that’s ok. To me, this feels like a great privilege. It’s a privilege I wish my mom and grandma could have had. It’s a privilege I don’t take lightly either.
At this stage of my life, I am very vocal with my family and friends about my anxiety triggers and insecurities. My mental illness has definitely impacted my relationships, especially before I had the language for what I was feeling. My anxiety would often manifest in extremely maniac behaviors, which can be hard for people to understand. I have been very intentional about the company that I keep, so I have created a beautiful tribe around myself. Of this tribe, I feel the safest with my mom and my boyfriend, Christian. They are people I can say have seen me completely and genuinely love me anyway. As the ultimate day one, my mom has been on this journey with me the entire time. She has supported me, even when she didn’t completely understand what I was going through. Over the years she has pushed me to go to therapy, encouraged me to continue healing even when I’m at my lowest and she has taken the time to educate herself on how to better parent me as a person. I am forever grateful for her unconditional love and commitment to ending certain generational traumas. Christian is so unbelievably unbothered, he completely balanced out my constantly bothered spirit. He gives me space to feel without letting me slip too far. I feel like I can be all of myself with him. told him about my mental health issues from the beginning of our relationship and we continue to have open dialogue. I am grateful for his patience and willingness to learn.
Do you feel as if having a mental illness as a Black woman has been somewhat a harder struggle? Have you experienced the stigma of being mentally ill within the Black Community?
Overall as a society, I don’t feel like there’s the same stigma on mental health issues that there used to be. Unfortunately, that change in mindset came after the “damage was done” for many of us. I’ve had to do so much unlearning and work to break generational cycles, and it’s exhausting. On the other hand, since the topic is no longer so taboo, it is encouraging to see so many people also going through the struggles of healing. The healing journey can feel so isolating, so having those connections are so impactful. Especially as black women, we struggle to look strong all the time. Seeing black women being so vulnerable lately has been a game changer for me. I feel like I can turn to my friends and peers to say I don’t always aspire to be a strong black woman, and that’s ok. To me, this feels like a great privilege. It’s a privilege I wish my mom and grandma could have had. It’s a privilege I don’t take lightly either.
What are some positive things or even ‘vices’ that help you through the tough times of your mental illness? Are there things you used to do that no longer benefit you? Why did these things help you?
Staying true to my Taurus spirit, I would consider myself a creature of habit. Whenever I feel myself heading down an anxiety spiral, you will find me doing one (or all) of the following: sitting quietly, listening to Frank Ocean’s “Thinkin Bout You” or watching Hamilton, stress eating, and hyper-focusing on something on my phone. In those times of internal chaos, I find comfort in returning to these familiar places, and the familiarity brings me back to center.
Do you feel proud of yourself for how far you have come with your mental illness?
I feel like I am a work in progress. I am very proud of my work so far, but I recognize there are still significant aspects I need to address. I even found myself struggling to fill out this questionnaire sometimes because I feel like I’m still in it. It’s an ongoing battle, but I’m starting to feel more equipped. While I may not have found the perfect therapist-approved form of coping yet, I have found that my ability to cope has improved. I sometimes get caught up in the progress and forget that this is all a process.
Ironically enough, I have found that by talking about my feelings, I built stronger bonds in my relationships and helped my family and friends look at their mental health. What has made me most proud is knowing that I have friends and family who now go to therapy directly because I share my experiences. Their lives are now changed because I shared my truth, which gives me more joy than I can ever express.
Staying true to my Taurus spirit, I would consider myself a creature of habit. Whenever I feel myself heading down an anxiety spiral, you will find me doing one (or all) of the following: sitting quietly, listening to Frank Ocean’s “Thinkin Bout You” or watching Hamilton, stress eating, and hyper-focusing on something on my phone. In those times of internal chaos, I find comfort in returning to these familiar places, and the familiarity brings me back to center.
Do you feel proud of yourself for how far you have come with your mental illness?
I feel like I am a work in progress. I am very proud of my work so far, but I recognize there are still significant aspects I need to address. I even found myself struggling to fill out this questionnaire sometimes because I feel like I’m still in it. It’s an ongoing battle, but I’m starting to feel more equipped. While I may not have found the perfect therapist-approved form of coping yet, I have found that my ability to cope has improved. I sometimes get caught up in the progress and forget that this is all a process.
Ironically enough, I have found that by talking about my feelings, I built stronger bonds in my relationships and helped my family and friends look at their mental health. What has made me most proud is knowing that I have friends and family who now go to therapy directly because I share my experiences. Their lives are now changed because I shared my truth, which gives me more joy than I can ever express.